The controversy surrounding this week’s Lambeth Conference will be seen by some not simply as in-house fighting within the Anglican Communion, but as the final nail in the coffin of Christendom. For some, the ongoing debate over homosexuality marks a divergence between secular and biblical worldviews that cannot easily be reconciled.

Now, a country whose cultural contours have been shaped by church history desires only to nod to that heritage. Christian tradition is tolerated, but not celebrated. It’s a little like the great uncle at family parties, whose words used to be full of wit and authority but now seem antiquated and belligerent; although his presence is still required, he is often a source of embarrassment.

So it is that the intransigence of so-called traditionalists over the issue of homosexuality is regarded as ignorant and uncivilised by so-called liberals within the church and secularists outside it. And the delineation between toleration and celebration is by no means clear-cut. Consider the case, last week, of the Christian registrar who had refused to conduct civil partnership ceremonies for gay couples. Would her doing so have constituted toleration of homosexuality, in line with her civic duty, or active celebration of same-sex unions?

In short, there are no easy answers to this dilemma, nor to a number of others facing churches of all denominations as they seek to work out what it means to live in the contemporary world without being of that world. There will be disagreements between people who would all sincerely claim to be people of faith. The fact of disagreeing isn’t a problem – have a read of Galatians 2:11-21 – but the manner in which we disagree might be.

Jesus stated plainly that it was by the love his followers displayed to one another that people would know they were his disciples (John 13:34-35). History has proved him right. Tertullian, one of the early Church Fathers, reported that pagans often remarked of the Christian community, ‘see how they love one another.’ That’s not to say, of course, that they never disagreed with each other! Nevertheless, the way they conducted themselves – presumably both in agreement and in disagreement – was characterised by love.

If this were still the primary characterisation of the church in the eyes of those outside it, then perhaps Christians would still have the ears, and hearts, and minds of our nation. Christ commands us to agree to disagree in love.